Change of Season

A little bit of life update for me.  There have been a lot of changes over the last few months for us.  I had been hoping to do a little more blogging over the summer, but I took a break for a bit to refocus.

It’s been an interesting summer, to say the least.  And surprisingly, one of the busiest we have had in a while!

A little background:  Right at the end of the school year, Nick was let go from his job as worship pastor at the church we had been at for 8 months.  This wasn’t due to any kind of terrible thing or situation…just one of those things that happens at times.  This came as quite a shock to us, and quite honestly, we had no idea what we wanted or needed to do. There was a lot of emotion involved during that time, as you probably could have guessed!

Very quickly, Nick was offered a job teaching 5th grade at the school connected to the church.  After taking a few weeks of thought and prayer about it, he decided to take the job.  It seemed like a great provision and would help us keep our girls in the the school that they loved. We knew that I would need to take another job in order for this to happen.  I began looking for a job, but then felt the Lord tell me to wait.  So I waited.  I do not like waiting.  I like planning and knowing exactly what to do.

Time began to grow shorter and closer and closer to the date that I would need to have steady income and still I didn’t know what I was going to do about work.  Then…one day I walked into the school office with Nick to pick up his books and a little later I walked out with the potential of having a job there as well.  It was not at all what I was expecting.  And to be frank:  not at all what I wanted.  I prayed for several days and cried about it some as well.  I had an idea of what direction I wanted to do, and this was NOT IT!  And yet, I couldn’t pull myself away from it.  Finally, I stepped out in obedience to what I felt the Lord was doing, and accepted the job.  So as of Monday, I will be teaching music and art at the school – elementary, middle, and high school.  I find myself getting more and more excited about it, though I still carry quite a bit of nervousness.

In addition, I am keeping the other part time job I have that I work at home, as well as teaching private lessons at another Music School in town one day a week.  Yes, I am going to be a very busy girl!

There are so many things I feel that God is doing in my life right now.  I felt impressed recently to study John 15 and go through it verse by verse.  In studying these verses, I am reminded that the Father desires me to flourish and be fruitful.  And as the caretaker of the vine that I am grafted into, he prunes in order to make me more fruitful.  He is pruning away the things in my life that are hindering fruitfulness.  But, if I remain connected and abiding in the perfect love of the vine, I will have everything I need to stay nourished.  So even when life is looking like I’m being pruned, I know that I am nourished, and being taken care of and prepared for fruitfulness.

This post has turned out to be longer than I expected.  I still have goals for this little blog corner…and I plan to work toward them.  It may just take a little more time than I originally thought!

Never stop singing Oceans!

I read a blog post recently titled Stop Singing Oceans and the author talks about how we shouldn’t sing the song because we really don’t mean it.  I’m not slamming her for saying that at all. Many times I’ve sung songs in a worship service and thought to myself, “Do I really live my life like this?”  I think it’s good and right to ask those questions.  To see where we are spiritually and to grow in areas and let God use the lyrics to expand our understanding of Him.

But for me, I think I need to keep singing Oceans.  Sing it over and over until it becomes real in my life.  I look at the people around Jesus and they said things to Him about their belief…and then they faltered.  They failed.  They didn’t live it out.  But Jesus didn’t tell them to stop saying it.

In John 11, Martha had just told Jesus she believed He was the Christ, the Son of the Living God!  And immediately turned around and said, Jesus we can’t open that grave!  Lazarus will smell!  Jesus didn’t walk away and say, “Martha, I guess you don’t believe, so stop saying it.  Never mind guys!  Leave the stone!”

No way! In verse 40:Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?”  

And what about Peter??  Here’s his story when he sees Jesus walking on water:

 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out,“Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”  And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”  Matthew 14:28-33

I’m so glad that Jesus didn’t leave Peter to drown when he saw the wind and was afraid.  “Oh, too bad, Peter.  You didn’t really believe.  You’re done.”

This same guy later DENIED Jesus, and still…hey Peter…I’m not done with you even though you’ve said (or sung) things that you didn’t succeed at the first time (or hundredth time)

I mean, the whole opening of the song says – “You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail.”  We might fail guys!  And that’s ok.  Because even when we fail, we call upon Him and rest in His perfection. We keep transferring our trust from ourselves, our money, our job, our family, or whatever we trust in…and we give it to Jesus.

We are made stronger in the walking.  Through the hardship and the perseverance.  We build muscles.  We have hard days, days we feel like we fail.  We have days we are sore and we feel like we’ve just been beaten up and dragged behind a horse! But we press on.  We endure, and it produces character in us.  It produces hope in us.  (Romans 5:4)

So yes, I will keep singing Oceans.  I will keep asking the Spirit to lead me where my trust is without borders.  I will keep asking Him to take me deeper than my feet could ever wander so my faith will be made stronger.  And when the storms and waves come and I find myself slipping, I will call upon His Name, because I am His and He is mine.

Asleep in the Boat

On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?” – Mark 4:35-41

There’s a storm.  The wind is blowing, the waves are crashing.  Water is already starting to fill up the boat.  The boat is rocking and everyone is soaked and terrified.  But Jesus is in the boat!  He’s asleep.  He’s not worried about the wind or the waves.  He’s resting.  The disciples called to Him and He answered.  The wind and waves obeyed at just a word.

I think about this story often.  The world and our lives are full of storms.  They come from many different places and take many forms.  But here’s the thing:  I am in the boat with the Master of the wind and the waves.  The storm is ultimately irrelevant.  I may get scared sometimes because I don’t understand, but when I call out it is just as Psalm 91 says…

They will call to me, and I will answer them.
    I will be with them in trouble;
    I will rescue them and honor them.

I won’t worry about the storm.  I know the Man who is asleep in the bottom of the boat.

Limitless

“Remember Jesus Christ, risen from the dead, the offspring of David, as preached in my gospel,  for which I am suffering, bound with chains as a criminal. But the word of God is not bound!  Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.”- 2 Timothy 2:8-10

Limits.  We all have them.  We are limited by ability.  We are limited by finances.  We are limited by family obligations.  We are limited by job responsibilities.  We are limited by the expectations of others.  We are limited by physical health. I could go on…

Paul was in prison when he wrote these words.  In chains.  Bound like a criminal.  He had limits, but these were not his concern.  He knew something that went beyond the limits of his chains.  God’s Word is not bound.  God’s word doesn’t have limits.

I know that I am limited.  But I also know that God can transcend my limits to accomplish his purpose.  So I can’t use my limits as an excuse, but I have to persevere.  Persevere to find new ways to reach others with the Gospel.  Persevere and allow God to work through me despite my limits to bring words of deliverance to those around me.

I want to live like Paul lived.  Limited in body, but limitless in Spirit through the power of the Holy Spirit.

We partied…it was 1999.

I wrote this post 3 years ago.  Since then our lives have changed in so many ways.  But these words still ring true for me.  I still choose not to focus on the bad, but on the amazing.

Today is a special day.  It marks 13 years since I started this journey called marriage.  It certainly hasn’t been a bed of roses!  We’ve been through a lot together in the last 13 years and probably moved just as many times.  Oh what wanderers are we.

I could probably sit here and list all the bad things we’ve dealt with, and fights we’ve had, and blah, blah, blah.  But I’m not going to do that.  Instead, I want to take a verse from my favorite book of the Bible (this week) and share from there.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  Philippians 4:8

True:  His love is true…and he tells the truth.  Even when it hurts!

Honorable:  He honors me and our family by going to work every day (sometimes to a job he doesn’t really like) and taking care of us.

Just:  The dictionary says this means guided by truth.  He seeks every day to be guided by The Way, The Truth, and The Life.

Pure:  He works hard at staying pure in this world that doesn’t make it easy!

Lovely:  Ok, guys may not like being referred to as lovely, but this term connotates an inner character trait.  He’s got character – moral and spiritual handsomeness (I’ll use that word instead of beauty)  🙂

Commendable:  Yeah, this guy is commendable just for putting up with me!  Seriously, he is worthy of my trust and respect.  Our girls regard him as if he hung the moon!  I realize he didn’t, but it doesn’t make me love him any less.

Excellence:  He strives for a spirit of excellence.  If we’re going to do something, let’s do it right!

Worthy of Praise:  He’s a dreamer.  That’s what I am praising God for about him today.  Daring to dream that God will answer our stance of faith.

One of my favorite songs is Andrew Peterson’s “Dancing in the Mine Fields.”  It is such a great reminder of the promises of God and the promises we made to each other all those years ago.  Here’s a link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gs3fg_WsEg&ob=av3n

So that’s what I’m thinking about today.  Has it all been good?  No.  Does it get on my nerves when he does embarrassing things?  Yes.  Do I sometimes want to strangle him to an inch of his life?  I choose not to answer that question.  But I wouldn’t trade the last 13 years and our 2 beautiful daughters for anything.  And as we step into the future and the new things God has for us, I am glad we have a great foundation and a great love for each other.

I Love You, Nick!  Happy Anniversary!

A Good Carrier

This post was originally written in September of 2012.  We were living in Arkansas doing a Chi Alpha internship.  Overwhelmed by the newness of our situation and unsure of how the bills were going to be paid each month, God confirmed his presence in our lives frequently and in just the ways we needed.  This was one of them…

I woke up the girls this morning to get them ready for school/preschool.  Emma was all sweet and groggy and asked me to carry her down the stairs.  I picked her up and as I walked down the stairs she looked up at me and said, “You’re a good carrier.”  It was sweet and cute coming from my little bed head.

I thought about that statement a lot as I went about my day.  First, as just the sweetness it was and how encouraging she can be.  Then, as I began to fret about my problems and fears it took on new meaning to me.

Last week was a tough week for me.  I took anxiousness and worry to a whole new level.  Not only worrying about today’s problems, but next month, and even next year!  I am sure I made life not too easy for my wonderful and long suffering husband!

It was no surprise to me that our pastor preached an entire sermon on not worrying and casting our cares on The Lord.  I took it to heart and prayed for grace in that area.  It’s a daily battle.

So as I thought about me carrying Emma I felt The Lord say, “I’m a good carrier.”  That hit me pretty hard.  Probably because it’s a truth that I tend to ignore.  He invites us to cast our cares on Him, to allow Him to carry the burden. It’s not my responsibility to worry.

I kept thinking about this and it was very freeing for me and really gave me peace that I so desperately needed.  Tonight I thought again and I remembered a word a friend spoke over me 10 years ago.  Part of it specifically said that God was carrying me like a newborn baby in one of those harnesses on His chest: safe and secure and where I can see His face as He carries me.

I think of that from time to time, but it really took on a new light for me tonight.  Amazing how someone who said something 10 years ago can still impact me now in new ways.

So, whatever it is you’re dealing with today, God is bigger.  He knows your worry and anxiety, and He is your answer.  I leave you with a few scriptures to meditate on.  Give your worries to God.  He’s a good carrier.

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6, 7 ESV)

casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7 ESV)

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22 ESV)

Gilded Edges

One morning, not terribly long ago, I was sitting in the bed reading my Bible and Anna came in and crawled in bed with me and cuddled up.  This is a rare occurrence so I was going to soak it up, no matter what I was doing!  I continued reading, and she started looking at my Bible.  The Bible I have has gilded edges and as she was looking, she said, “Mommy, if I pick up one page, I can’t see anything, but all of them together look gold and pretty.”

At that moment, a thought struck me…this is like your life.  So I said to her, “Anna, this is what life with God is like.  Each page is like a day.  As you go through your life and spend time with Jesus, it may not look like much, but if you stick with it you will be able to see over time, the beauty that He will make of you.”

Such a simple and powerful illustration.  Each day doesn’t seem like much.  You go to work, you make food, you work out, you watch tv, you have a few conversations with your kids or spouse, you go to church, you read your Bible, you pray…  It all seems to be mundane and meaningless and maybe you don’t feel like what you are doing is making any difference.  But…turn around and look back.  Where were you a year ago?  What has God done in your character?  What has God done in your family?  What is the fruit and beauty that you see over time?  Are you a more patient person?  Are you more in tune with His Spirit?  How’s that relationship that you never thought would improve?

God is working in you if you are spending time with Him and you may not even realize it.  Each day might not seem like much, but put it together day after day and you will see the gilded edges of beauty in your life shining out.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. – Philippians 1:6